Thursday, March 1, 2012

PART-1


Bagi kalian yang sedang jenuh, saatnya sekarang untuk menghilangkan kejenuhan tersebut. Di halaman ini disediakan bacaan ringan yang dapat membuat kalian tertawa atau paling tidak tersenyum. Mudah-mudahan sajian-sajian berikut dapat menghibur kalian. Humor-humor segar yang disajikan di halaman ini termasuk ke dalam jenis teks Spoof. Ceritanya biasanya diakhiri dengan hal-hal yang tidak terduga atau lucu. Humor-humor ini diambil dari berbagai buku sumber termasuk LKS. Tujuan penyajiannya tidak lain hanyalah untuk melatih kemampuan belajar bahasa Inggris kalian khususnya dalam memahami bacaan. Silahkan baca dan tersenyumlah! Hilangkan kejenuhan kalian sekarang!

1. Jack and the professor

Jack was a university student. He studied history. At the end of the year, his history professor failed him in his examinations and he was told to leave the university.
The next day, Jack’s father went to see the professor He urged the professor to let Jack continue his studies the following year. “He is a good boy,” said Jack’s father,”and if you give him  chance this time, I’m sure he will improve a lot next year.”
“No, no!” That’s quite impossible,” replied the professor, “Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon died, and he could not answer it.”
“Please, sir, give him another chance,” said Jack’s father, “You see, we don’t subscribe to any newspapers in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill,” 
2. Poor Parrot

Jack was a young sailor. He lived in England, but he was often away with his ship.
            One summer he came back from a long voyage and found new neighbour near his mother’s house. They had a pretty daughter, and Jack soon loved her very much..
He said to her, “My next voyage will begin in a few days time, Gloria. I love you, and I’ll marry you when I come back. I’ll think about you all the time, I’ll write to you and send you a present from every port.”
Jack’s first port was Freetown in Africa, and he sent Gloria a parrot from there. It spoke five languages.
When Jack’s ship reached Australia, there was a letter from Gloria. It said, “Thank you for the parrot, Jack. It tasted much better than a chicken.”

            3. Doing homework

Teddy. was ten years old. He was not a very good student because he didn’t like doing his homework.  He liked football better because he always made a lot of mistakes when he did it.
One day, his mathematic teacher looked at Teddy’s homework and said that all his homework were correct. Wow that’a surprise! Of course the teacher was very surprised and delighted. So, he called Teddy to his office and said to him, “Teddy, you’ve done all of your homework right this time. You’re doing great. Well done, Teddy, did your father helps you?”
“No, Sir.” Teddy said, “Usually my father did it for me. But last night he was very busy. He had a meeting. So, he couldn’t do my homework. Then I had to do it myself last night.” 

 4. Talking cat

Mrs. Andrew had a young cat and it was the cat’s first winter. One evening, the cat was outside when it began to snow heavily. Mrs. Andrew looked for it everywhere and shouted its name, but she did not find it. So, she telephoned the police and said, “I have lost a small black cat. Has anybody found one?”
No, ma’am,” said the policeman at the other end. “But, cats are very strong animals. They sometimes live for days in the snow and, when it melts or somebody finds them, they are quite alright,”
Mrs. Andrew felt happier when she heard that. “I think you’re right, officer,” she said,” and besides, our cat is very clever. She almost talks.”
The policeman was getting rather tired. “Well, then,” he said, “Why don’t you put your telephone down? Perhaps she is trying to telephone you now.”

5. Lost or lazy

Mr. Huntington takes a walk from his house to the city park every day. He lives at 8 o’clock in the morning and gets home by lunch time.
One day Mr. Huntington went home late and two policemen accompanied him. After knocking the door, one of the policemen told Mrs. Alison, who is the daughter of Mr. Huntington, that her father lost his way and had called the police statiion.
When the policemen had left the house, Mrs. Alison asked her father how he could lose the way because he had been to the park for 25 years. Later, he admitted that he did not lose the way. He just felt so lazy to go home on foot, so he called the policemen to take him home.

6. A Mean farmer

One day a farmer, who was well-known in his village as a very mean man, said, “l will give three meals and twenty five pence to anyone who is willing to do a day's work for me.” This offer was accepted by a hungry tramp, who was more interested in the meals than the money.
“You can have your breakfast first.” said the farmer, “and then you can start working.” The farmer gave the tramp a very small breakfast and the tramp ate it up.
“Now you can have your lunch. This will save us a lot of time,” the farmer said The tramp agreed and ate the poor lunch.
Before he had finished, the farmer said, “What would you say to have supper also whileyou are about it?”
“l will try to enjoy other meals,” replied the tramp. Then he had his supper, which again was not a very filling meal. When it was over, the farmer looked very pleased and said, “Now you can do a long day's work.”
“No, thank you.” was the tramp's reply, as he rose to leave, “l never work after supper.”

7. Green, Pink,Yellow
An English teacher was teaching about colors to his students. After he finished explaining, he asked his students. “ Who can make a sentence using the word green, pink, and yellow?
James, the cleverest in the class, quickly raised. his hand and answered, “When the yellow morning sun comes, I see a beautiful girl wearing a pink T-shirt walking through the green grass,”
“Great! James you are very good student”, said the teacher
“Me, me, Sir” Johnny, the fool students in the class, said while raising his hand, And then he said, “I heard the telephone green., green, green then I pink up the receiver and I said, ‘Yellow, who’s speaking there?’




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